aging

Sometimes I wonder how men will feel about the way they've treated people when they get to the point in their lives where they reflect, and actually have feelings. Women reflect on their feelings every day, but for men, I believe such reflection comes much later in life. I don't think that the masculine persona is worth the repercussions when that is the way one has to remember themselves for the rest of their lives. And although the feelings about one's self die with the body, the actions live on as memories in everyone else for generations.

I work with a lot of eldery people who have nothing to do all day. No letters to send or phone calls to make because they have no one left to give themselves to. Some stare at the walls all day and into the night, not even caring that the lights need to be turned on when dark falls. Even in the brain of a person with Alzheimer's, what are they thinking? The short term memory fails, but the past is as strong as ever. Have you ever tried to bring an Alzheimer's patient back to present time? In training caregivers are taught that at a certain point, it's almost better for the person if you don't bring them back from 1954. If science could prove that we are actually reliving our bad moments over and over again as our reality fades, I think everyone would become a lot nicer to each other. If I've learned anything from the elderly it's that you should always be gracious onto others. It only takes a few seconds for you to need that person more than you've ever needed anyone in your life.

Are you happy with the way you treated others today?

How to Find a Book at Half Price Books

The truth is, you don't.

I've been looking for The Omnivore's Dilemma for almost six months at my local Half- Price Books store and I haven't found it once. Yes, at one point in the six months I came across enough money to buy myself 45 new copies of the book in hardcover and a yacht, but I prefer used books solely for the sake of someone else's snotty fingers dog ear-ing all of the pages before me. Recently, I gave up leisure reads for highlighting textbooks. But, in light of my recent obsession with stalking The Amatuer Gourmet for updates every ten minutes, I went back to Half Price Books to find Adam's book which is properly named The Amatuer Gourmet ... I wonder where he came up with that??? Funny thing, I didn't find the book. I scanned every isle that it could be in (Those discount book stores are really sneaky. I found Eat, Pray, Love in the marriage section once) but to no avail. What I did find, though, was The Omnivore's Dilemma. They say that you find love when you least expect it. Tonight has proven that I can apply that rule to my entire life, and I will, which is why I have discontinued all attempts to located my bellybutton. I will find it when I least expect it.

Today, I also learned how to create a link. How elementary of me, but I've noticed that a successful blogger links EVERYTHING.

Lazy Sunday When Minneapolis is Slush

If you ever have a lazy day when you don't want to exercise throw on some comfy, fashionista clothes and hit up the Minneapolis Institute of Arts in South Minneapolis. Free admission, with donations accepted, the museum is a good way to relax and burn off some of that skinny no whip vanilla latte that you've been slamming all your life. Art is also good for wiping the sludge off your brain (except for the "Erotic Plates" from Korea... don't forget your glasses or you'll miss the teeny tiny phallic details on centuries old ceramic) I missed the Venetian paintings because I started getting tired by the time I got to the 3rd floor. Too much drinky drinky the night before for how much walky walky I did, luckily they have a coffee shop that sells beer. sil vous plait!! I'll probably go back this week to check out the Venetian paintings from Scotland; it's Scottish and it makes me feel inches closer to Craig Ferguson. Delicious.

I suggest, if you are a 20 something like myself and you have a fantasy of meeting the love of your life at the Goya painting, that you go on a weekday.... Or any day that isn't an elementary school teacher workshop/weekend. Shrouds of loud kids clomping around in their boots kind of ruins the peacefulness of the Buddha statues on the second floor. An art student friend of my suggested between 3-5 or else getting away from the excess noise would mean hiding in the modern art galleries for three hours. Other than annoyed bitches like myself, the museum is really children friendly. I will take my sisters some day so I can pretend like I know everything about art interpretation.

My favorite section is the Asian parts of the world. I'm not trying to turn into a manga loving, white face painting wannabe, but I really appreciate the beauty and the air of delicacy that surrounds the sacred practices of the historic dynasties. You don't find any anime cluttering the MIA walls. The Japanese art shows a significant change in their development as an independent country with paintings and screens that shows a shift from depicting other countries to embracing their own landscape. You can also see the greater care that they put into their possessions from their wardrobe to their enchanting pottery pieces. I just wish they would have let me try on the kimono...

When you leave the MIA you will find yourself fantasizing about being an art curator. Don't quit your day job. We can't all be Charlotte York from Sex and the City. Go buy a slice of pizza and call it a day.

I made my first pizza!!!

I've had this saved as a draft for a year. I wish I was still this passionate...

We have to take care of each other. When a baby cries into the night, people rush to them, and that should never change. If a woman screams in the night, someone should run to her.

I live a very fortunate life. I know now, at 20 years of age, that I can bounce back when I am shaken to the core. But what about survivors of assault, rape, and mistreatment? What about the woman who can't get off her knees because someone decided that they had the right to knock her down. To be unwillingly stripped of everything that feels right in the world is to be figuratively brought to the ground indefinitely, and life suddenly feels wrong. Faith is depleted by just trying to survive the day. Thinking about the struggles of women whom I don't know is a big concept for me to grasp, and when I sit and listen to a preacher preach, I can't help thinking about those women. Where is this God that the preacher speaks of when they need him? Why is it that to test one's faith, one must be sexually violated? And why, someone tell me, is it that the preacher doesn't talk about rape. They talk about the stressors of daily living and preaching to your enemies, but you give me one woman who spoke "the word" to her rapist while he was attacking her. Women are merely trying to survive. And we wonder why people blame God.

When I was 12 years old my youngest sister was an infant. She spent hours of each night crying and crying. I spent half of the night hiding under my covers trying to rid myself of my guardian angels. I wanted them to flock to my sister and take care of her because I didn't need them at that moment. Obviously, if she was wailing, her angels were still using their training wings. I would never know if it worked, or if they ever left me, but I hope that they took the opportunity. I feel the same way today as I did as a young girl. I want my God and my angels to flock to my sisters all over the world because I am okay right now, and my sisters need a leap of faith. I will sacrifice my faith for them if they will take it. I want them to feel that God is listening, right now he is just saying no, which is better than saying nothing at all. I believe this, because humanity has failed me, and faith is all that feels comfortable.