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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Things That Keep Me Up at Night

The water is cloudy cause I didn't know to rinse the rocks first, I assume.

In 8th grade there was a girl who's name starts with an S. I wish I could remember exactly, so that all of the men out there would know she is BAD NEWS. Well, we were young and she was telling me about how she had gotten drunk the night before with her cousins (this was a year before my cousins got me absolutely wasted so I pretended to be cool with it). I guess they poured vodka into some guys fish tank and tried to feed the fish pizza before they all passed out with the oven still hot and fish still marinating in BOOZE. Needless to say, they woke up to dead fish and a cool oven. I work in two hours and I'm currently losing sleep over this story. I think of this every time I put off cleaning my own little Chunk's bowl. I got Emily Jalapeno Chunk in June and because I'm a good mommy, today we made a significant life change in his pineapple under the sea. The lead picture is from the day I got him. The picture below is the new habitat. I'm afraid that the color of the neon pink rocks will kill him so I have his night light on so I can make sure he isn't in there thrashing around/trying to off himself on the new seashells. I hope he starts eating soon. I'm really worried he is going to die because he spends half of his life playing with his food and regurgitating pieces of beta bites all over his house. But at least if he cacks it's because he had an eating disorder, and not because I got shit canned and poured chardonnay in his bowl.
That touch light in the corner is so he doesn't have to be in the dark all day while I'm working.
Praise for good parenting.

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